A King With Words :: The Official Blog of Andrew Kameka

You know that I'm no good

2007-04-05T10:53:00.000-04:00

I’m a music hipster. What a dreadful fate. What in the cane-chopping hell did I do to end up in this position? How, did I become such a fan of “hip, edgy, in vogue” artists? Why does my ~~iPod~~ bootleg Zen Micro rattle with the sounds of the perpetually “next big thing” in rock or pop? I’m hip-hop to the core, but I have become enchanted by artists like The Good, The Bad and The Queen, The Fray and Amy Winehouse.

Amy Winehouse - “You Know That I’m No Good”

Oh, the wondrous, delightfully-tragic Amy Winehouse. She’s the best thing smokin’ (and drinkin’) right now. This has become the trendy thing to say, and though I usually despise the pretentious nature of anything trendy, I simply cannot fight my audio lust for this British export. If the digital age hadn’t taken over, my repetitive playing of her Back to Black album would have already broken a few tape decks. Within moments of “Rehab,” I’m fully-engulfed in the nostalgic, bitter sounds of a troubled Englishwoman who has reignited old-time soul better than any American singer has in quite some time. Back to Black is a celebration of everything that should be mourned – failed relationships, infidelity, substance abuse – and I almost feel guilty for enjoying it so much. The cheery undertones lifted and twisted from 60’s soul clash beautifully with Winehouse’s somber vocals and content, making the music enjoyable regardless of my mood. Her voice glides comfortably in a space bordered by Etta James-meets-Lauryn Hill and a quasi-current tenor that makes her Billie Holiday’s long-delayed successor.

As Idolator pointed out yesterday, you’ll be hearing similar testimonals ad nauseum in the coming weeks. Hell, you’re best friend is probably bombarding you with the thousandth rewind of “Tears Dry On Their Own” right now; you’re probably loving every second of it, too. It’s only a matter of time before you’re bragging about already being up on Frank, Winehouse’s jazzier debut, before the converted masses knew anything about her.

There’s no need to worry, though; everyone’s a hipster. The Internet has made music so widely-available and rapidly-disseminated, it’s almost impossible not to latch on to the latest media darling. People are so exposed to music, artists who would have been marginalized in previous industry climates are quickly becoming more than just cult-magnets. The time it takes for a singer to go from “on the verge” to full-fledged celebrity has dwindled like a fashion model on coke. That’s why Winehouse transitioned from an underground crooner (in the U.S.) to source material for “Best Week Ever” so quickly.

These days, you’re a hipster before you even get a chance to decide whether or not the music is good. Then again, one could argue that hipsters have a tendency to follow bad music simply because it’s “hip” – designated as cutting-edge and too deep for the pop masses to appreciate. At least they’re starting to reach for artists who are worth more than a snooty badge of honor earned by saying, “I used to like him/her/them before MTV came in the picture.” Early adopters are appreciating music because of its merits rather than its exclusivity. The haughty air of privilege that once defined coolness will soon evaporate.

And just incase you’re still a bit unsure of whether or not you qualify for this ghastly label, watch an episode of “Scrubs.” If any song played on the show can be found in your current rotation, put down that Arcade Fire CD and fall in line with your fellow trendwhores.

Please ~~drink~~ listen responsibly

Oh, you mad 'cause I'm stylin' on you

2007-03-25T22:18:00.000-04:00

Everytime I get tired of MC battles, something comes along to remind me how entertaining they can be. I’ve seen on-stage fights, cup-full-of-piss throwing, random genitalia exposures (don’t ask), and even an MC get clowned on stage by judges and audience for telling his opponent, "I'm ’bout to eat your asshole up.” And of course, there’s the infamous “Oh, you mad ’cause I’m stylin’ on you” debacle. But instead of expanding on these classic oddities, I’ll just post this new chapter of the crazy battle chronicles.

[via] Jumpoff.tv

Spartaaaaaa!!!!

2007-03-24T12:47:00.000-04:00

Lord help whichever egg infiltrator becomes my firstborn. He can look forward to a lifetime of combat, relentless training and an overbearing father who recites the archetypical battle poetry that passes for inspiration in war movies. My firstborn will be a Spartan.

I finally got around to watching 300, and it was everything that I expected it to be: a bloody, mesmerizing, über-violent epic. It’s the visual mindf**k that has been missing from action movies hell-bent on replicating the now tired tricks that The Matrix invented and perfected eight years ago. I left the theatre with my adrenaline operating at maximum potential and the desire to hit the gym to get rid of this extra person I’ve been lugging around. My hook-ups at the local theatre allow me to watch movies for free, but if I still paid, this would have been well-worth the $7.50 (Note: that’s matinee, too! Prices are truly ridick).

Though the movie’s plot is superficial and tells a complex tale in wobbly, distorted fashion, I loved every minute of it. The gift itself lacks much substance, but the package it’s wrapped in is amazing. I didn’t walk in expecting a grand, epic film; only two hours of stunning violence. 300 met those expectations and earned my forgiveness for Zack Snyder’s poor attempt at giving this film political subtext and socially-relevant undertones. Filmmakers, and maybe people in general, have a bad habit of unnecessarily scratching at complexity. Some things are just meant to be what they are and nothing more. Let the simple things be simple and just embrace its merits.

Why can I accept this premise when it concerns motion pictures, but struggle to apply that same outlook in music? Both are entertainment vehicles that can be better indicators of views (biased as they may be) and social climates than most other outlets. Both have their lowbrow purveyors who appeal to the masses, as well as an ego-stroking community of snooty artists who appeal to critics and self-important hipsters. Yet for all their similarities, I personally hold creators in each medium to very different standards.

I’m the first to admit that Talib Kweli’s music has no place in the club, so there’s a need for dance music. Certain artists and songs deserve a pass for what they’re trying to do, but it’s hard for me to accept that. Though I occasionally grant distinctions and exceptions for MC’s with shallow music, I'm typically so wrapped up in what I like that I can only hear music in terms of good and bad. I can’t rationalize or explain it, but I rarely adapt my tastes.

If only everything in life was as a simple as the “No surrender, No retreat” ethos of Sparta.

Part 1: "Cause the Greatest Rapper of All-Time Died on March 9"

2007-03-07T11:06:00.001-05:00

Even though I don't rate him as the GOAT, anyone worth their grey matter knows that Christopher Wallace is an unquestionable legend. HipHopDX.com is honoring his memory with a series of features and pieces for Biggie Week, and my reflective review of Ready to Die is now up. There's something new going up everyday to commemorate the 10th anniversary of Big's passing, and I'm working on something as well that will be placed here on Friday. Until then, I wish you peace throughout your Everyday Struggles.

All around the world...same song

2007-02-25T12:46:00.001-05:00

Hip-Hop is an international affair, but that doesn’t hold true in the United States. Though this amazing culture born in the Bronx has been raised in places across the globe, Hip-Hop's foreign exchange has largely been one-sided. Kids from Buenos Aires to Tokyo who don’t speak English can recite lyrics from 50 Cent word for word. Few Americans could do the same for Drunken Tiger, Sway Dasafo, or Loop Troop. I’m surprised if any of you even know who those people are; I get the gas face every time I tell someone that I listen to a couple of Korean, British or Scandinavian artists. Hell, Canada’s directly north of us and we don’t even pay attention to any MC who lives north of the 49th parallel besides Kardinal Offishall.

Is the problem our own arrogance or the inability of foreign artists to measure up? It’s a little bit of both. Americans automatically think that we’re the best, which we are, because we created the art form. Naturally, we’re a little reluctant to believe that anyone outside of the Union can hold a candle to the elite MC’s here. The few “Hip-Hop” artists who do receive a little attention in the U.S. are acquired tastes (to put it nicely), so all foreign MC’s receive a level of skepticism that’s difficult to overcome. It’s unfair but understandable. Still, I find it strange that so many people complain about the state of Hip-Hop but limit what they will listen to. If you have a problem with what’s being released, wouldn’t it make sense to expand the talent pool you draw from? Golden Era Crybabies would greatly benefit from listening to more music from outside the U.S. because there are some gems out there.

Kardinal Offishall (Canada)
“Bakardi Slang” missed the mark, but let’s not forget that Kardi delivered some heat on Quest For Fire. “Ol’ Time Killin’” was one of the best singles released in 2001, and 2005’s Canadian Coke mixtape hit just as hard with “The Burial Song” and the Vybz Kartel-assisted “Everybody’s Gone Gangsta.” Celebrity Face is set to release a new album later this year on Akon’s Konvict Muzik, so take a sneak peek at him now.
Tracks
“Ol’ Time Killin’”
“Everybody’s Gone Gangsta.”
“The Burial Song”
Website: MySpace.com/kardinaloffishall

Promoe (Sweden)
English isn’t Promoe’s native tongue, but that doesn’t stop him from being better than a long list of American MC’s. Though born in Sweden, he raps only in English with a Caribbean-infused cadence. Listen to tracks like “Positive & Negative” and “These Walls Don’t Lie” to hear his exceptional sense of melody and wordplay. Then you'll have to zone in on “Government Music” and the tag team with Anthony B on “Justice” to catch a glimpse of his political and reggae vibe.
Tracks
“Positive & Negative”
“These Walls Don’t Lie”
“Government Music”
“Justice”
Website: Promoe.nu

Rascalz (Canada)
These Vancouver representatives were the ones who got me to listen to Canadian Hip-Hop. The dancehall-inspired “Gunnfinga” really connected with me, and when I heard songs like “Top of the World” and “Fallen” from their Global Warning album, I became an instant fan. Their 2002 album Reloaded didn’t excite me as much and the group has pretty much disappeared, but the Rascalz are/were very entertaining.
Website: Rascalz.ca

Sway Dasafo (England)
After watching the WRC’s last summer, I joked that Brits sound polite even when they’re battling. But this Ghanian-British MC is anything but soft. I’m a fan of “Little Derek,” which features Sway mentioning how even in the United Kingdom, U.S. Hip-Hop carries more weight and fanfare than domestic products. I’m also feeling “Month In the Summer” and “This Is My Demo.”
YouTube: “Little Derek”
Tracks
“Month In the Summer”
“This Is My Demo”
Website: SwayDasafo.com

Tommy Tee (Norway)
There used to be an amazing Scandinavian Hip-Hop website named Svendetta that put me on to a few talented artists. The pick of the litter was easily Norwegian producer Tommy Tee. His samples are rich, beautifully chopped, and his drums are always high-end compositions. He’s like a European blend of Pete Rock and DJ Premiere. Tee is the best European producer that I’ve heard, but he also has worked with a few American artists.
Tracks
“Above Da Law” ft Heltah Skeltah, Starang Wondah, Agallah, and Labba
“Gimme Dat” ft. Stat Quo, Rah Digga and Young Zee.
YouTube: Tommy Tycker Om Mej / Hit the Road / Tæssja (non-English)
Website: TeeProductions.com

To everyone out there, who's a little different

2007-02-17T18:40:00.000-05:00

It’s no longer hip to be square. Hip-Hoppers have become so obsessed with crime tales and street lore that being an everyman is a Scarlet Letter of wackness. Of course, things have been that way for some time now, so you’re probably saying, “Welcome to 2002, Kam.” The hellstorm of self-promotion and menacing mystique that propelled 50 Cent to stardom already put 8 million nails in the coffin. Jeezy proudly declaring that he’s “not a rapper” added some dirt and firmly established that back-story is almost as important as beats.

But for some reason, putting that back-story into your music has become passé. As I thumbed threw the latest Scratch magazine, I came across a review that described Brother Ali’s upcoming The Undisputed Truth as “tragically-emo at times.” The reviewer commended Ali’s intelligence and cool, but the aforementioned statement made it seem as if displaying emotion is counter-cool. Even if that was unintentional, the reviewer expressed something that a lot of record label execs, artists and consumers believe: revealing your innermost thoughts or vulnerabilities is un-hip[hop].

There’s a large (probably dominant) segment of hip-hop listeners who don’t want to hear an MC rap about his life. They’ll happily make exceptions if that life consists of pushing weight, but don’t dare think of describing your day-to-day struggle if you walk past Nino Brown on your way to work at the mall. They’ll clamor about hip-hop being lifeless and un-relatable, but they’ll also discredit music that is exceptionally poignant and relevant. Kanye and an occasional MC might get a pass for making a catchy single, but for the most part, Alpine decks are allergic to self-expression.

Everybody wants to hear about a hustler who has enough money to make it rain in the club, but not about the janitor who cleans up that club in order to build a future for his son. Listening to a player who has a bevy of freaks on call is alluring; listening to the man who’s trying save his marriage isn’t. Let’s face it, folks – the music business is in the business of story-telling, and most consumers want their stories extravagant, sexy and unattainable. Real emotions or desires that go beyond C.R.E.A.M. ethos or dead homey memorials are out of style.

After reading Scratch, I gave The Undisputed Truth my first uninterrupted listen since the album leaked. As the bluesy-guitar sounds of “Faheem” pumped through my speaker, I couldn’t believe that anyone could describe this revealing letter to Ali’s son as tragically-emo. I’d hate to see what people would think of the more expressive and commendable “Picket Fence” that anchored Ali’s previous album, Shadows on the Sun. Throughout most of Truth, I sat enthused by Ali’s wordplay and mic control sounding so great over Ant’s always-fitting backdrops. But I soon felt a slight sense of disappointment that most hip-hop fans would never enjoy the album. Ali’s mastered the microphone and the pen, but not the games that listeners want rappers to play. If only he killed a couple of people, got shot a few times or at least participated in a few hand-to-hand transactions. Maybe then he’d get the respect he deserves.

It’s strange that emotion is linked to weakness because most MC’s on everyone’s Greatest of All-Time list have always been willing to share their sentiments with others. Had they subscribed to hip-hop’s current school of thought, 2Pac would have thrown much of his catalogue back into the Death Row vaults and Nas would have let his best work languish in the decrepit halls of Queensbridge. Biggie would have washed away the dust and grime of Ready to Die in favor of only showing the glitz of “Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems.” Many of hip-hop’s greatest artists, songs and works never would have become so ingrained in our collective consciousness. How tragic that would have been.

Kamwatch: I still exist

2007-02-11T23:32:00.000-05:00

Don't be alarmed; I'm still here. I took some time off to enjoy graduation, get a few resume packets together and maintain my wits while stacking clips. The gentleman to your left took up much of that time as I was interviewing him for this feature that I'm proud of. I'm also working on another feature for Pulse that will be up in a couple weeks, which took up a GANG of my time. I've never put so much into a story: footwork, records searching, chasing sources, interviews - I had to do it all. Well, enough of that. Here's a quick rundown of the other stuff that I've done that aren't too timely but still up if it interests you.

** UPDATED ** "Encore" - Sean Price Interview @ AHH
Sean Price is experiencing a mild case of heart burn. After being unappreciated as a member of Heltah Skeltah and the Boot Camp Clik for more than 10 years, Price finally ventured out on his own with 2005’s Monkey Barz, a debut brimming with sharp wordplay and cohesive melodies. The album received plenty of praise, but critical acclaim can’t feed your children, which became a serious problem for the self-proclaimed Brokest Rapper You Know.

Styles P - Time Is Money Review
Few albums are as aptly or unfortunately titled as Styles P's (Ruff Ryders/Interscope). Four years since the release of his gold-selling solo debut, A Gangster & A Gentleman, Styles has seen much of his shelf-life and earning potential waste away. The Lox member has been hobbled by industry politics, label drama and a prison bid that kept him locked-up while the Ruff Ryders Empire weakened. SP the Ghost is finally ready to make up for missed opportunities and release his sophomore effort, which flaunts the husky and street-savvy lyrics that keep fans clamoring for the D-Block representative.

Talib Kweli & Madlib - Liberation
Hip-Hop's collaborative spirit is quite healthy right now. The past few years have sparked several full-length pairings of MC's and producers eager to show their strength in numbers. Industry-wide, artists have frequently connected to jump genres, mesh styles and redefine the scope of modern music. After MC/singer Cee-Lo Green and producer Danger Mouse mesmerized ears as Gnarls Barkley in 2006, people are definitely eager to hear more of their favorite artists work together.

Trick Daddy - Back by Thug Demand Review
Things just aren’t the same for gangsters. Songs associated with dance moves rule the airwaves, so any recording artist who isn’t snapping or leaning along has to be especially on point to be a force on music charts. So what should an MC known for bold thuggery do in this evolving rap climate? Absolutely nothing.Miami native Trick Daddy breezes through the winds of change with Back by Thug Demand, the seventh chapter of his criminally-minded chronicle. While many of his peers have attempted to evolve and show growth as artists, T Double D’s music and album titles have flaunted his stationary state of mind. He even uses the album’s introduction to mock those who ask, “Do you have anything else to talk about?”

There's a 1,000 [White] MC's

2007-01-15T14:51:00.000-05:00

There’s a perfect storm brewing on VH1, and it’s called Ego Trip’s the White Rapper Show. It features aspiring celebrities, hints of sexual tension, strange competitions and, of course, manipulated conflict – all standards of reality TV. Twelve wannabe rappers – plucked from ordinary lives and placed in a house in the South Bronx, the birthplace of Hip-Hop – are fighting to be the first “great white MC” since Eminem. The Great White Hip-Hop Hopes live together, test their devotion to the art form and battle each other for the grand prize of $100,000 and “a whole nation of devoted fans.” Money and fame are only a verse away.

The saturated genre of reality TV leaves little room for innovation, so White Rapper follows the Hip-Hop tradition of sampling bits and pieces of its predecessors. In addition to stylistic cues taken from other reality staples like The Real World and The Apprentice, the show occasionally borders on being Making the Band II with an all-white cast. During one comical yet disturbing moment of the premiere episode, Queens MC, Persia, taunts John Brown, the self-proclaimed King of the ‘Burbs, by poking a sex toy in his face until he’s willing to accept a battle challenge. When the King refuses and then dismisses her and fellow white rapper, Sullee, a fistfight nearly ensues. Much like the numerous arguments between MTB II castmates, the slightest provocation can spark strange and violent behavior.

The Mouth vs. Manmeat Moment of 2007

The creators of White Rapper – best known for their classic ego tripmagazines, books and culture commentary specials on VH1 – lace the show with not-so-subtleties. The rappers live in a shabby tenement known as Tha White House, place garbage in bins marked ‘White Trash’ and get messages from host, MC Serch of 3rd Bass, through a giant bottle of Mayo. Any comical oversights that producers may have missed are quickly met by an eclectic cast seemingly built to accentuate drama more than talent. Though the white rappers know that cameras trace their every move and the stereotypes of their race can be debunked or mistakenly confirmed in an instant, they make a mockery of themselves and the culture they claim to cherish.

John Brown spends much of his time uttering nonsensical phrases like “Hallelujah, Holla Back!” and referring to a “Ghetto Revival” movement that has neither plans nor followers. G-Child, a mousey MC from Allentown, Pa., openly admits that Vanilla Ice is her idol. Worse yet, she proudly states that Ice is the biggest influence on her rap style and career. Stop, collaborate and listen to what you’re saying.

Serch often shakes his head when contestants behave foolishly or don’t show respect for the opportunity placed in front of them. But with so many ridiculous moments, it’s hard to view White Rapper in a serious light. How respectable can you be when hefty women are shoving sex toys in someone's face? That makes the rare but serious moments seem a bit out of place. A show that readily embraces low-brow entertainment usually should avoid attempts at being socially-relevant or preachy. Still, those attempts can ocassionaly be well-placed, like when a castmate receives a tongue-in-cheek prize for repeatedly saying 'nigga/er.' The humbling experience that follows, as well as the very premise of White Rapper, reveals an unfortunate truth about race relations in the United States. Despite the social progress made since the Civil Rights Era and the communal bridge-building that Hip-Hop has allowed, America is still a place where cultural ignorance and stereotypes are alive and well. Then again, it doesn’t take a clownish television show to picture that.

Auditions from White Rapper

Worst of the Worst in 2006: Rap Beef

2006-12-25T13:48:00.001-05:00

I’m done with beef. Well, not done, but I’m seriously sick of it. Hip-Hop leaves me few chances to avoid it these days, but I want to ignore this bovine bullshit that’s being masked as music.

The ridiculous amount of rap beef in 2006 led to this revelation. Though it’s become standard for somebody -- be it Hip-Hop legend or rap flavor of the month -- to promote their feud with another MC, this year saw a lot of conflict. It even spread over to the world of R&B. Hell, even The Donald and Rosie O’ Donnell have gotten in on the action.

Ras Kass sparked my moment of clarity days after his altercation with the Game. I was scheduled to interview him and in typical rap fashion, Razzy flaked on me. Waiting by the phone all day when I could have gone out and taken care of other things was not cool, but a few beers and some great college football later on that day kept me from getting too angry.

As I motioned to throw away the questions I prepared the same way Ras Kass threw out his consideration for my time, I noticed something. On that soon-to-be wilted sheet of paper was a series of questions that struck me:
What do you expect to accomplish from all this?
Don’t you think it’s all a bit pointless?
Does Hip-Hop really need more MC’s threatening each other from the comfort of a plush Southern California recording studio?

I’m glad I never got the chance to ask those questions because Ras Kass’s answers would have been just as senseless as the situation he was in. And somewhere in America (maybe in the ~~Change of~~ Heartland), Game would be thinking of new metaphors and analogies to give to reporters when they asked about his much more publicized fued with 50 Cent. Perhaps he’d be concocting explanations for his past run-ins with Joe Buddens, Yukmouth, Memphis Bleek, Jay-Z and the 1981 starting defensive line of the Oakland Raiders.

I’ve always thought that the animosity permeating in the Hip-Hop industry was silly, but this year was the first time that I’ve felt like a contributor to it. I’m the reason that rappers get into altercations with each other, blow things out of proportion and then act like upset sixth graders. They do it because I -- a journalist, Hip-Hop fan and consumer -- allow them to. I display interest in their quarrels and fan the flames because it sells a few more magazines and sparks debate at the barbershop. I allow them to be ignorant towards each other because nothing is more entertaining the a scathing diss track. I’m the reason for beef.

The last five or six years have featured countless meaningless feuds. But 2006 was so ridiculous that BET made an entire show dedicated to rappers arguing with each other and even people outside the realm of Hip-Hop. When I see rappers making diss tracks directed at Oprah, I start thinking maybe it's time let my ears and eyes go vegan.

But you know what really made me feel good about ’06? Nas squashing beef with Cormega. It was monumental to some when he made nice with Jay-Z, but this is much bigger to me on a personal level. I'd like to see the real Firm reconnect and make up for that album released after 'Mega left the group. It's far too early to tell if that will happen, but seeing two of my favorite MC's resolve their petty bickering makes me hope that more MC’s will get the message and focus on making good music again.

The Wrap Up 2006 - Worst of the Worst

2006-12-22T23:00:00.000-05:00

Farewell, 2006. Please know that you won’t be missed. This is usually the time to prep a “Best of…” list to highlight a year’s elite moments, but the last 365 days have made that job extremely difficult. Finding positives in ’06 is like finding a Hollywood “It” girl who embraces the wonders of underwear.

The sixth year of this third millennium yielded few great moments. Sure, it was nice to see the Democrats take control of the Legislature. But we also had to watch the horrors of Iraq, hear Foley’s audition for Dateline to Catch a Predator and use language not fit for Church whenever gas prices increased. Small victories came with big price tags this year.

Kam’s Worst of 2006 Extravaganza will pile on those woes even more. Forget arguing about the best albums or movies of the year; let’s shed light on the trends and products that made wayward souls buy into the hype that Hip-Hop is dead. Everyone will greet 2007 with open arms, but now is the time to celebrate this scornful year’s less than stellar offerings.

Music: The Movements & Moments

Lil’ Wayne’s Love Drama. A few “jealous” brothers had hate in their eyes every time they saw Lil’ Wayne with his lovebird Trina. Plenty of guys wanted to see if Da Baddest Bitch is really about what she says in her lyrics, and it seemed like Wayne was the only person getting a first-hand account.

But every heterosexual male in the country expressed comedic shock and disgust after learning that Trina’s weren’t the only lips Wayne was kissing. Though there have been rumors for quite some time that the Cash Money Millionaires share more than a label, few were prepared to see pictures of Wayne and Baby kissing. The sight of two grown men unapologetically kissing each other on the lips, especially in the macho-fueled world of Hip-Hop, was too much for many people to handle.

CMR tried to do damage control and claim they picked up the kiss of death from the Italian Mafia, but Tony Sopranos across the country put down their calzones, gave the gas face and asked, “Who is this guy?”

Sagging SoundScan. Hip-Hop isn’t dead, but keep the respirator charged just in case. Despite heavily-promoted albums from industry vets and previously successful rookies, 2006 was unkind at the register. Only two rap albums released this year -- T.I.’s King and Jay-Z’s Kingdom Come -- went platinum. The rest of Hip-Hop’s un-anointed albums didn’t fare so well. The Clipse, Game and even Mr. Hey, Look at Me (Diddy) all flopped.

Overall album sales in 2006 fell five percent compared to last year. But sales in country music, which Hip-Hop dethroned in the late 90’s as the top selling genre, reversed course and increased five percent. With two Disney soundtracks likely to rank among the best selling albums in 2006, Nas may have to resuscitate Hip-Hop after all.

Legends of the Fall. Speaking of Esco, he’s guilty of another lowlight of 2006. Though he and Jay-Z were supposed to carry the banner for Def Jam in the fourth quarter, both artists fumbled and dropped albums below their potential. A half-hearted Nas performance may be better than most rappers performing at their peak, but listeners should expect more from someone capable of creating a classic. It’s too bad Nasir’s incredible literary talent is rivaled only by his questionable ear for beats.

Jay-Z’s inevitable return gave fans less time to build expectations but Kingdom Come still fell short. The script called for a rap Rocky Balboa saga: the legend would make a triumphant return and steal some shine from the youngsters in his shadow. Kingdom Come was unfortunately a Tommy Gunn tale, sputtering weak, whispered lyrics instead of loudly firing the street-clearing heat Hov has delivered in years past. The Hustler’s Hustler has lost a step.

Rappers Who Can’t Rap. I understand and embrace Hip-Hop’s need for mindless entertainment; you can’t party to Canibus waxing poetic about the complexities of space travel and astrological algorithms. Even so, how did we reach a point where rap became so void of substance that literally anyone can do it? The game is so saturated with sucker MC’s that you can stick any loser off MySpace into the studio with Scott Storch and he’ll churn out a hit. If Yung Joc, MIMs and Lil’ Boosie can do it, anyone can.

2006 was the year listeners said, “INSERT NAME can’t rap, but his music bangs in the whip.” Disposable music was so common that it became forgivable because of whipbangability, which is a sad sign of the times. No other genre of music supports artists who have absolutely no talent (except R&B…hey, Cassie!), so why is the ability to rap not a prerequisite for a record deal?

It's survival out here, these n****s don't even respect the Bible out here

2006-11-17T11:31:00.000-05:00

I’m back like Cooked Coke Crack! After a long but highly-necessary hiatus, I’ve returned to the blogosphere. Y’all miss me? I hated to walk away from the game but being in the home stretch of my collegiate career has severely limited my time, which made A King With Words fall by the wayside. But hey, if Jay-Z can “walk away” and still be embraced when he “returns,” why can’t I? Get caught up with what I’ve been doing since July on this page so you don’t end up lost like a black Republican.

It feels good to be blogging again, but there’s another person in the hip-hop world embarking on a much more difficult comeback. Fat Joe is desperately trying to rebound from a rough year that included yet another Top 10 hit that didn't lead to Top 10 sales, and an on-going fued with 50 Cent damage his star power. Did I mention that Joey Crack is doing it after being dropped from/leaving Atlantic Records (depending on who you ask)? By the way, great job avoiding the Industry Graveyard and still staying somewhat relevant in the game.

Fat Joe has an album in stores this week and a burning desire to prove that he’s still a premiere MC after all these years. But he’s facing a lot of hate along the way; he’s getting less love than Clayton Bigsby at a David Duke birthday party.

I actually thought that Joey made a good resurgence attempt after I listened to Me, Myself & I. It has its faults like any other project released in this vending machine hip-hop climate, but the album is a decent recovery from the underwhelming All or Nothing. In my review at HipHopDX.com, I said, “Fat Joe doesn’t hold his weight on a few of the album’s songs, but he delivers enough strength to silence anyone who questions his place in hip-hop.”

Clearly the users @ HHDX don’t follow the leader on this one because they’re trashing the album in the comment section. They’ve unleashed a fury on MMI (like they do on almost every record) even though the album is far from trash. And as I read Ketchum’s interview with Fat Joe also up @ HHDX, the venom was even more intense. Dudes are inviting Joe to a fight over music.

I’ve read worse comments at a few message boards, but the funny part is that a good portion of the people speaking negatively of MMI haven’t even heard the album. Former fans are still so mad at All or Nothing that they’ve carried over their anger onto a brand new project. Has anyone besides the Game earned so much scorn so quickly after getting at least some respect? Hating and hip-hop are practically conjoined twins, but I haven’t seen a Joe take so many shots since the freezer trick stopped working for Mike Tyson Super Punch Out.

Note to Don Cartagena: Do not under any circumstances release anymore ladies/club/radio joints as singles if you want to win back your fans. If you really want to bring back Crillz Mania, cue up that “No Drama” or “Damn” before you even think about putting out “She’s My Mama.” Everybody’s an industry expert these days, but trust me on this one; take a break from going after that groupie love.

Fat Joe - "Pendemic" (produced by Streetrunner)

Fat Joe - "No Drama" (produced by the Runners)

Fat Joe - "Damn" (produced by LV)

Kamwatch: PackFM Interview

2006-07-24T00:10:00.000-04:00

PackFM interview now available @ AllHipHop.com

For those of you unfamiliar with Pack, he’s been a staple of the underground music scene for the shorter side of a decade. His resume reads like every other MC that came out of New York before this current breed of mixtape rapper everyone outside of the Tri-State area ignores: heralded battle rapper, a handful of 12” singles under his belt, has shared the stage with some of hip-hop’s top acts, and has been in a competition or two to gain notoriety. I interviewed Pack for AHH about his new album, whutduzFMstand4? and his background in the game. If you haven’t already, read the interview and listen to some of the outtakes below.

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Visit PackFM's Website

Kamwatch: Linette (Real World Fresh Meat) Interview

2006-07-14T22:49:00.000-04:00

“Reality TV be reality for who?” – Rah Digga on Wyclef’s “Next Generation”

Here’s a little something for you fans of MTV’s Real World/Road Rules Challenge. I interviewed Linette from the Fresh Meat cast for my university’s student paper since she attends FIU as well. Linette is easy to talk to, seemingly genuine, and sweet – three traits that are endangered in Miami women - so I enjoyed conducting the interview. I’m a firm believer that reality TV is just a parade of shallow characters, washed-up singers/actors, and wannabe singers/actors, but Linette’s attitude challenged that a little. Well, at least two thirds of it because she is an aspiring celebrity after all. But who isn’t these days?

The interview is available online at the Beacon Newspaper but you can only read the first half of it unless you are registered with the site. Registration is FREE and only takes about 15 seconds, so it’ll be worth taking a look. Read the interview and/or listen to some extras in my ODEO player. Hear me chop it up with Linette about the RW/RR cast-mates, her interests and how her life has changed since being on the show.

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Stop asking me to freestyle, what you want from me?

2006-07-09T00:25:00.000-04:00

Miamians: Y'all remember the battle scene? The time roughly between 2000 and 2002 when you could always see at least a couple of good battles? Remember when you would walk into the Polish-American Club and see Jin, Serum, Parable, or Wrekonize and know that they'd probably be in the finals? Those battles made them mini-local-celebrities and -- more importantly -- gave a much needed injection of competition to the Miami Hip-Hop scene. Blade Barbershop, Mouth of the South, Who Can Roast the Most?, Next 2 Shine, and a long list of other competitions were a way for the underground community to politic, be entertained, and hear the story about you know who throwing piss on the PAC's owner for the thousandth time. It was a nice break from the mundane scene that is Miami Hip-Hop.

So you can imagine how nostalgic I got when I browsed through my old 8MM tapes and saw one labeled 'USBC.' Before I even popped the tape in, I was already reminiscing about the melee between J-Pure and Gedden that almost broke my camera, the viciousness showed by Lyve Kaos to everyone he faced, and the almost uncomfortably happy face Wrekonize made when he finally got the monkey off his back and beat Serum. Next Level Barbershop (now rechristened as Status [located across from MDC-Kendall campus]) had some heat that night. I wish more events like it would have taken place before we all grew tired of the battle scene and moved on to better things. Regardless, here's a few gems from the Underground Show Battle Championships 2001 that I put together. It's strictly highlights, so cue the Sportscenter theme and pay attention.

From, Miami with love.

Lyve Kaos vs. Fergie // Soloman Spectrum vs. Ill Select // Dolo vs. OBCT // Wrekonize vs. Jiggs // Gedden vs. H20 // Lyve Kaos vs. Skripture // Wrekonize vs. Brainstorm

Serum vs. Risk // J-Pure vs. Gedden

Wrekonize vs. Soloman Spectrum // Parable vs. Lyve Kaos // Serum vs. J-Pure

Wrekonize vs. Lyve Kaos // Wrekonize vs. Serum

MySpace The Artists Featured in these videos:
Lyve Kaos
Wrekonize
Serum
Soloman Spectrum
Parable
Jiggs (of SLP)
Dolo

You got the mad fat fluid when I write, it's halftime

2006-07-01T00:03:00.000-04:00

This is the first day of July, so we’re officially at the halfway point of the year. 2006 has been interesting so far, especially from a muscial standpoint. Recent albums from Ice Cube and Gnarls Barkley performed much better than most people anticipated, showing that there is room for people outside the 106th & Park generation. However, we did see quite a few duds and garbage passed off as music – Mobb Deep or S.M.A.C.K. soundtrack anyone? – in this half year. The next six months could obviously make or break 2006’s audio legacy, but I decided to take a look back at everything released up until this point and pick my five personal favorite albums of ’06.

1. Ghostface Killah – Fishscale Few of Ghostface Killah’s fans were pleased with The Pretty Toney Album, which many of them saw as a feeble attempt at commercial relativity. Ghost atoned for his mistakes with Fishscale, a 24-track serving of that pure NY street shit that his fans demanded. “Shakey Dog” and “R.A.G.U.” are both classic Ghost songs, so even though this album was a commercial dud, anyone who bought it should be pleased. This will go down as the most criminally-slept-on album in quite some time.
Choice Cut: “The Champ” – Buy @ Amazon for only $10

2. Busta Rhymes – The Big Bang Rapping about other MC’s who fall off can be an ironic omen when you’ve been around as long as Busta Rhymes has. But his Aftermath Ent. debut on The Big Bang proves that the former Leader of the New School still has plenty of spit left in his tank. Busta gets extra brolic on “In the Ghetto” and “Been Through the Storm,” two very different songs about essentially the same thing – harsh life and dealing drugs to escape. Though I didn’t care for “Touch It” (or the terrible remix), I loved this album.
Choice Cut: “Cocaina” – Buy @ Amazon for only $9

3. Murs – Murray’s Revenge
I came across this album when I interviewed him for AllHipHop.com and it was on loop for a while. Murs crafted an album that appealed to both my ex-backpacker and future thug personas, so I just couldn’t stop playing it. “Dreamchaser,” a song that delves into the mind of a gang banger from childhood to hoodhood is one of the best tracks he’s ever done. Even though Murray’s Revenge is rather short, 9th Wonder blesses it with disturbingly dope production on “L.A.” and “Yesterday & Today.”
Choice Cut: “Dreamchaser” – Buy @ Amazon for only $13

4. Little Brother – Separate But Equal (Mixtape)
Even though I liked their sophomore album, I’m glad that the Minstrel Show flopped. If it hadn’t, Phonte and Rapper Big Pooh never would have spit with the vigor that they did on this DJ Drama mixtape. The group finally got some outside production, made some more “accessible” music that was still sick, and elevated their level of artistry. Songs like “Speed Racin’” and “Candy” f/ Bun B show that if LB can make a few changes to their formula, there won’t be a need to let H.E.R. go.
Choice Cut: “Speed Racin’” – Buy @ Gangsta Grillz for only $10

5. Smitty – Voice of the Ghetto
Two years after the semi-hit “Diamonds On My Neck,” Smitty’s getting ready to finally release his debut album Life of a Troubled Child. But first he put out this “buzz album” to gain an extra push for it. Smitty has a lot more depth than Diamonds indicated, getting truthful on the Kanye West-produced “Ghetto” and “Everyday” f/ Joe. Though his Scarface/Trick Daddy hybrid style is lacking at times, this glorified mixtape is enjoyable, which makes me think his real album may appear on my end of the year list too.
Choice Cut: “Ghetto” – Buy @ HipHopSite.com for only $14

Albums To Watch in 2006
Lupe Fiasco’s Food & Liquor – Though “Kick Push” is quickly becoming one of those songs I hate after loving the first 2 billion times I hear it, I’m convinced I’ll like Lupe. The bootlegged leak featured “Just Might Be Okay,” “Trials & Tribulations,” and “Hustlaz Song,” so it just has to be great. *knock on wood*

Clipse’s Hell Hath No Fury – Clipse represent everything wrong and right with Hip-Hop at the same time. Their entire catalogue is about cooking, packaging, and distributing coke, but they’re flow, lyrics, and delivery are good enough to overlook it. “Mr. Me Too” and the We Got It 4 Cheap mixtape series caught my ear.

Nas’ Hip-Hop Is Dead… The N Word – When you have arguably the greatest MC of all-time releasing an album and the other guy people usually claim is the G.O.A.T. is the executive producer, it will warrant attention. Though I haven’t found Salaam Remi’s production very exciting lately, Nas could rhyme over the screams of a dying man and I’d still listen.

Smitty's Life of a Troubled Child – Voice of the Ghetto piqued my interest and I’d like to see a Miami artist get some much-needed shine. The production line-up hasn’t been confirmed, but I’d wager that Kanye West, Cool & Dre, Streetrunner, The Runners, and DJ Khaled all offer beats. Look for lead-singl “Lil’ Haiti” very soon.

Me and my fam roll tight like The Firm...really?

2006-06-28T17:14:00.000-04:00

David Ruffin really knew how to get to the core of bad emotions. I’m sitting here listening to the classic “So Soon We Change” and the mailperson (Kam is politically correct in '06) finally delivered my copy of the new XXL. The magazine took an in-depth look into the making of Reasonable Doubt, so how ironic is it that I’m looking at a Jay-Z cover story while listening to a song about a seemingly unbreakable bond suddenly falling apart?

When Jay dropped his smash debut in ’96, he brought a more believable flair to the New York “jiggy” era. The future King of New York formed a royal triumvirate with the flashy Dame Dash and silent killer Biggs that seemed like it would one day conquer the world. Eight consecutive platinum albums – six of them multi-platinum – later, it’s obvious that they did. But you know how the story goes. Royalty can only reign for so long before trouble arrives, and the Roc Dynasty collapsed just like every empire before it. There’s a reason people say kings must die; it’s an inevitable truth.

But still, I must ask why? Rome kept the party going for a millennia and a half. The Greeks, Ancient Egyptians, Colonial European powers – they all had centuries of rulership. How come Roc-A-Fella Records couldn’t even make it to the 10 year anniversary of Reasonable Doubt? We’ve been bombarded with theories and bullshit reasons to explain the split, but none have ever pleased my curiosity. Magazines have tried to analyze the situation, but even after hearing both sides of the story, I’m still left being unsatisfied with the conclusion. Maybe M. Night Shyamalan wrote the script for this Roc-A-Fella saga. And if you pay attention to headlines, whatever created the riff between Jay-Z and Dame/Biggs probably isn’t exclusive to their situation. There’s plenty of dissension going on in hip-hop. But this isn’t a hip-hop thing. David Ruffin was bucking heads with Otis Williams and the rest of the Temptations long before Kool Herc was scratching records in the Bronx. Hey, maybe it’s a black thing. No, wait; Van Halen and a long list of other white rock bands will confirm that’s not the answer either.

There are a lot of suspects in the deaths of the Roc and musical civility, but the assailant I’d put my Clue prowess on is conceit. All of the aforementioned empires collapsed because egos and alpha-male struggles prevented any chance of cooperation. Alexander the Great conquered the known world and his death caused mayhem when his generals fought each other for power. The Roc Familia conquered the music industry and couldn’t keep things together after The Black Album was released. What an unfortunate similarity. My guess is that a clash of egos killed the Roc, which is probably just as good as any other explanation since nobody wants to come clean about the end of the Jay/Dame/Biggs union. Even in their separate interviews for XXL, neither shed light on the situation. Dame even plainly states he doesn’t know why they couldn’t stay strong in his “Talking That Talk” feature.

I don’t even think I can listen to the shit [Reasonable Doubt] right now because I think things went so far the other way. At that time, what transpired now, we would’ve bet billions that it could have never happened. Back then, like, if we were to say, “Yo, in 10 years, Jay’s gonna do this and take the name, and he’s gonna be a part of Def Jam you guys, you know…” Like that would have never crossed our minds… It was all about friendship back then. I don’t know where that went.

The mystery shall continue, but I am grateful that I gained a lot of insight into a classic album. I just wish that I could have focused more on that instead of trying to figure out why the people who gave me Reasonable Doubt grew apart. And on a wider scale I’m trying to figure out why that seems to happen so often. Our generation – possibly more so than the ones before us – is so prone to bickering and narcissism that we can never sustain the greatness we build. We don’t suppress our egos; we flaunt and inflate them to the point that our heads are as big as Jason Kidd’s son. We turn our friends to foes so easily and just accept it as politics as usual.

As we appreciate the coming of age story that is Reasonable Doubt, we should try to at least succeed where d’evils caused its creators to fail – stay loyal to one another. Even though they couldn’t remain united, three young black men rose from nothing and conquered the world. You can’t knock the hustle of that.

Random Thoughts for June 25

2006-06-25T18:37:00.000-04:00

The Real Joey Crack is reppin' for Jersey
Joe Budden is lobbying very hard to replace Nas as my new favorite MC. Obviously I’m not saying Budden is as talented as Esco or anywhere close to matching the legacy that Nas has built. But as far as the music currently being released, the man also known as Jerz is coming very close to topping my list of active MC’s. I got off the late train and finally listened to his Mood Muzik 2 mixtape and was cautiously impressed. That came after listening to the Clinton Sparks remix of “Whatever It Takes” where he just dumbs out for six minutes about his stress, child's mother and life in general. But the latest thing to get Joey on my radar was his bootleg remix of Gnarls Barkley’s hit “Crazy” that I downloaded. Every time I hear him, I get the urge to call timeout, but it’ll cost the game (listen to the track and you’ll get it). Of course, Joe Budden becoming rated the Top MC in my book is a conditional title that will not be fully applied until I hear Nas release Hip-Hop Is Dead… The N Word.

Sorry Mr. O’Reilly, but I’m with France on this one
Forget this whole Cristal/Jay-Z debate. The real racism concerning France is occuring in soccer. Spanish head coach Luis Aragones called French striker Thierry Henry a “black shit” last year and now the two teams are set to face each other in the second round of the World Cup. I didn’t really need another reason to hate the Spanish side, but Aragones gave me one. So it goes without saying that I’m cheering for France when they meet on Tuesday. How funny is it that I labeled France as G-Unit and Spain as Jadakiss in my If Soccer Teams Were Rappers post? Hopefully life will imitate art and los ninas de Espana will get shut down.

New York, New York, the big city of nightmares
It’s a good thing that Busta Rhymes is happy to be on his New York shit, because times are rough if you’re a fan of New York sports. Michael Strahan is being accused by his wife of saying “Yes Homo” with the doctor from Celebrity Fit Club, the Jets still don’t have a real quarterback, the Knicks just fired one bad coach in favor of another and the Damn Yanks are in second place. Yeah, I know the last one is supposed to be a good thing, but I don’t really care about baseball anymore and when I did, the Yankees were a team I never really liked. At least the Mets are leading the division, but it’s way too early for any of that to matter.

But going back to the Knicks debacle, can you imagine how difficult it is to be a Knicks fan living in Miami? Some of the fairweather supporters disgust me. I know people who can't even name anyone of the Heat roster besides D-Wade and Shaq, but they call themselves fans. And the next day, everybody’s wearing Caron Butler, Glen Rice, Steve Smith or jerseys from other players no longer on the team.

I just want the pain to stop. Isiah, please admit that you're inept and walk away. Leave now so we can get a new leader who isn’t so Layden-esque.

KamWatch: DJ Irie Interview

2006-06-20T01:11:00.000-04:00

Whoa! Sorry for the lack of updates, but the World Cup is kicking my ass. Getting up early (9AM is early in the summer time) to watch the games and going to bed at 2 or 3 every night is killing me, but I'm surviving. The games are great. But I promise, there are more things to come in the very near future. For now, here's a new interview with DJ Irie, official DJ for the Miami Heat. They're about to win the NBA tonight, so read up on him as Miami prepares to make history. Click here to read the DJ Irie feature.

Bonus: While we're on the topic of Miami, I advise you to visit Jin's MySpace and listen to a couple of his new tracks.

KamWatch: DJ Khaled Interview

2006-06-05T03:39:00.000-04:00

The top feels so much better than the bottom! Ya boy got the frontpage of AllHipHop.com today. The interview I conducted with DJ Khaled is up, so staying up late while my friends went out was apparently worth it. Khaled was a short interview, but it was fun. He was extremely excited about his album and responded to every question by reminding me of the release date. It's kind of funny that I used to listen to his radio show in high-school back when he was still the Arab Attack and now he's this world-famous DJ about to come out with a new album. Shout out to DJ Papa Smirf for helping me get this interview. Here's an sample of what Khaled had to say:

AllHipHop.com: Terror Squad and G-Unit have had words in the past, as well. Could the two camps squash their beef and have a similar peace?
DJ Khaled: I mean, the Terror Squad and G-Unit stuff, I don’t know if that could ever be fixed. For me speaking as a Terror Squad member, they’re not even on our radar. We’re making good music and we’re for the people. We’re the streets. Terror Squad is created by the streets, for the streets, and we’re going to keep reppin’ the streets. I’m not here to talk bad about anybody, but they’re not even our radar.

Read the rest of the interview by clicking here.

T.R.O.Y. (Yo! MTV Raps)

2006-06-03T23:22:00.000-04:00

A friend called me late last night and invited me to go out with him (pause) to Metropolis, but I had to finish this DJ Khaled interview I should have had done four days ago. After catching a light case of writer’s block later that evening, I decided to take a short break and free up my thought process, so I turned on the TV to see what entertainment I could find at 2 am. VH1 was showing a pop-culture commentary show – gasp – and all of a sudden, a behind the scenes look at Yo! MTV Raps came on. At that point, it was safe to say that the Khaled would have to wait until Saturday, because the only thing I was in the mood to listennn to was the sound of a nice trip down memory lane.

VH1 Goes Inside: Yo! MTV Raps is an old broadcast, but last night was the first time that I sat and watched the entire show. The documentary featured great commentary and insight from Fab 5 Freddy, Ed Lover and Doctor Dre, but what I really loved was how people behind the scenes chimed in. Producers and cameramen spoke about how they tried to restrain 2Pac from using the show as the “Get Indicted Hour” by admitting that he assaulted the Hughes Brothers. During the episode that Fab 5 Freddy rolled through Compton with N.W.A., the reason the truck never stopped was because everyone was scared as hell. But the best nugget was when Leaders of the New School practically broke-up on air. Charlie Brown was acting awkward as hell and talking shit, which led to Busta and the other members having a group meeting they requested not be filmed. The group officially announced their separation days later.

Then I started thinking, where is the Yo! MTV Raps of this generation? How come I can’t turn on the TV and see a video show that provides a look into an MC’s world that magazines and music can’t give me? What happened to Joe Clair freestyle sessions and funny sit-downs with recording artists? It used to be easy to see videos without having hosts who were ridiculously hyper or excruciatingly lame; it’s damn near impossible to find that now. There are no entertaining segments between videos or on-location interviews. There are only Midtown Manhattan studios and soft, bubble-gum interviews that would make Billy Bush seem like Mike Wallace. The Ed Lover Dance was something corny but endearing; shows today are just plain corny. Forgive me for temporarily being another “I miss the mid-90's” whiney bastard, but it's true. The music video shows today are just plain terrible. Shit, they’re practically not even music video shows because in the hour-and-a-half that they broadcast, there are only 20 30 minutes of actually videos shown.

If you’re over the age of 20, I’m preaching to the choir, but the video shows on today just plain suck. My childhood and enculturation into hip-hop just wouldn’t have been the same without Rap City or Yo! MTV Raps. They were entertaining when I strolled across them and a godsend when the elders wouldn’t let my cousins, brothers, and me outside. The only thing kids these days have are 106th and Park and the shell that once was Rap City. It’s a sad state of affairs, but instead of continuing with this depressing comparison of times, I’m going to play the bitter old-man role and get nostalgic. I want all of my former youngbucks to grab a bottle of cognac and reminisce with me.

Final Episode of Yo! MTV Raps Cipher
Featuring: Rakim, KRS-One, Eric Sermon, Chubb Rock, MC Serch

Final Episode of Yo! MTV Raps Cipher Pt. II
Redman, Method Man, Large Professor, Special Ed, Craig Mack

Bonus: Doctor Dre and Ed Lover – “Back Up Off Me”

Can I kick it?... Yes, yes you can!

2006-05-30T11:11:00.000-04:00

Gooooooooollllllllllll! That’s the catchphrase of Andres Cantor, the legendary Spanish-language sports announcer, and it also signifies something much bigger: the FIFA World Cup is back, baby! Every four years, teams representing 32 countries from around the world descend upon one nation to compete in the greatest tournament in sports. After a grueling three-year qualification process, regional winners and playoff survivors meet in the final field to battle for soccer supremacy. It’s a competition so grand, schools are closed, economies suffer because of absent/distracted workers, and civil wars are temporarily ended. When the World Cup begins on June 9 in Germany, it is expected to draw an estimated 30 billion viewers in one month. Homey, we major!

The FIFA World Cup is The World’s Greatest Sporting Event. But like most things popular throughout the world, Americans just don’t seem to get it. Sure, there are millions of people in the U.S. who love soccer, but the majority of Americans don’t know the difference between Pelé and Payless. So, what should a red-blooded American who wants to watch the World Cup but has no experience do? He or she should read “If Soccer Teams Were Rappers” and separate the also-rans from the elite. This limited guide will help soccer un-enthusiasts fake their way through the tournament around their more knowledgeable friends. By the time T.I. faces The Roots in the championship game, you’ll already have figured out what they know and what they do.

If Soccer Teams Were Rappers (Updated June 2, 2006)

Brazil = T.I.
The Brazilian team, or Seleção as it’s known by their fans, is the indisputable King of the South [America]. Brazil has five titles and is the only team to appear in every World Cup final ever held. You should know that by now because Brazilians can’t help but restate their don status on every possible occasion. Just when you’re ready to put them out of your mind, they make another major smash (silencing critics by winning in 2002 = T.I.’s King selling 500,000 records in its first week) to let you know they’re still on top. Get ready for more because the Pentacampeons (five-time champions) are favored to win the Cup again.
Note: Jay-Z and Kanye West are also acceptable comparisons.

United States = Bobby Brown
You really have to feel sorry for the U.S. men’s soccer team because people forget that we finished third in the first World Cup held in 1930. Problem is, The Whites haven’t done much since their Don’t Be Cruel–esque debut, while their female counterparts enjoyed years of success. The U.S. women’s team has been Whitney Houston and won just about every major tournament in recent years. Sure, they’ve had a few cracks (no pun intended) along the way, but they still have a long reign at the top that their man has yet to match.

Spain = Jadakiss
Spain has the not-so-flattering distinction of being known as the “greatest underachievers” in soccer history. Whether it’s the World Cup, Euro Cup, or just a cup of Lipton tea, La Seleccion always loses in embarrassing fashion despite being pre-tournament favorites. They have a bounty of talent and moments of greatness that warrant respect, but Spain continuously performs poorly and falls short of expectations. Sound familiar? No one can doubt that Kiss - from a technical standpoint of lyrics, flow, and delivery - is one of hip-hop’s best, but you’re only as good as your results. Jada having two underwhelming solo albums makes him the mirror image of Spain, a team that has managed to turn failure into an art.

The Netherlands (Holland) = The Roots
Holland has been one of the best teams in the world since the 70’s. Their top-tier skills have earned them the respect of everyone in the game, but that respect has rarely translated to the top hardware. Between the World Cup and European championship, the Dutch have lost in the quarterfinals, semifinals, or final game nine different times. They did win the 1988 European Championship, but similar to how The Roots scored a couple of gold records with Phrenology and Things Fall Apart, a talent of their caliber should have gotten a platinum plaque (or Cup trophy) by now.

England = KRS-One
I feel bad for even typing this, but it has to be said. KRS-One is a legend in this rap game and must be respected for being one of the greatest ever. But just like England, he hasn't shown that in his recent work. The Teacher and England have underperformed, yet they are constantly invoking their past excellence. Their last few offerings (albums or Cup performances) were uneventful and made both appear to be just a shell of their former selves. Stop trying to constantly remind us of the great contribution you’ve made and do something now.

France = 50 Cent & G-Unit
France put in steady work on the underground (third in the ‘86 Cup, second in Euro ‘96) before eventually rising to the top with a monster performance at the ‘98 world cup, an “In Da Club” type success. The team then Massacred the competition by going on to win the 2000 European Championships. But their flop at the 2002 World Cup (Mobb Deep) and shortcomings at the 2004 Euros (Tony Yayo) makes critics anticipate a fast decline. As long as they have a powerful stable of people who work well together (Zidane and plays the Banks to Henry’s 50 Cent), there’s a good chance they may stay close to the top for some time to come.

Trinidad & Tobago = Rihanna
Trinidad & Tobago are West Indian underdogs who are just happy to be included. The Soca Warriors have earned some fans because they provide something different from what people are familiar with, but no one seriously expects them to make an impact. You’re probably thinking that Rhianna isn’t hip-hop and is out of place on this list. Well, people are saying the same about T-n-T being in the Cup at all. *Note: Despite what my friend Crystal may think, my comments are not based on me being jealous that Jamaica didn’t qualify this year.

Ghana = Atmosphere
The Black Stars never made it to the big show until this year, but they’ve been huge in the underground circuit. Ghana has won the African Cup of Nations four times, second only to Egypt’s five titles, and have won the World Under-17 Cup twice. Sluggo may not be on MTV all the time, but there are plenty of people who know his name and are familiar with his work. When it comes to African soccer, Ghana can say the same. They are in the Group of Death (think of it as the toughest bracket in March Madness), but just might surprise a few people in Germany.

Italy = LL Cool J
Longevity’s the name of the game, and Italy has played it better than almost anyone. The Azzuri have appeared in all but one World Cup final tournament held since 1934, winning three championships. Similarly, LL Cool J has managed to be successful and relevant for 20 years, which makes him an ancient relic by Hip-Hop standards. LL and Italy also share the distinction of reaching their peak years ago – Italy won the Cup in ‘34, ‘38, and ‘84 – and not returning to that apex since. Luckily, the Boys in Blue have a much better chance of reestablishing their superiority than LL does. Have you heard Todd Smith?

Australia = Slim Thug
Australia has ruled Oceania like Caesar did Rome and Slim Thug made noise in Houston’s independent scene, so both have done big things in small ponds. They’ve also waited a long time to make it into the mainstream (Australia qualified for the first time in 30 years). Harry Kewell and The Socceroos have already made the bold claim that they will advance to the second round, but they will more than likely watch the competition pass them by. Maybe somebody should remind the Aussies that being in the same group as Brazil, Croatia, and Japan makes them likely to have an Already Platinum debut that doesn’t even produce any gold. Ouch.

Germany = Raekwon & Ghostface Killah of Wu-Tang Clan
Both Germany and Wu-Tang have made an impact on the game, but as time split each entity apart, one faction reached a level of success the other has never known. Raekwon and Ghostface Killah released Only Built for Cuban Links and Ironman, two of the most celebrated Wu albums in existence, respectively; West Germany won the World Cup three times (‘54,’74,’90) and dwarfed their Eastern brethren. The fall of the Berlin Wall and the release of Wu-Tang Forever eventually brought reunification, but the glory days will always be found in the time spent apart.

Portugal = Dip Set
All style, no substance. Luis Figo (the Cam’ron of the bunch) and company have always provided fans with entertaining play, but they haven’t done anything that will stand the test of time. Portugal’s performance in the 2002 finals was so disappointing, they hired Luiz Felipe Scolari, the coach who led Brazil to victory that same year. Kind of like how Killa Cam followed Lyor Cohen from Def Jam to Asylum after Purple Haze missed expectations. Cristiano Ronaldo may be Human Crack in the Flesh, but will the Portuguese do anything in this cup that’s spectacular? ~~Yes!~~ Hell no.

Switzerland = Fat Joe
Fat Joe had a few albums that made a dent - small, but a dent no less - in the game; caught a major break by connecting with a large talent; and suddenly had a rare case of improvement. Switzerland has done the same, losing in the quarterfinals three times between 1934 and 1954, getting a boost from striker Alexander Frei (a not so big Pun), and making Europe lean back when they qualified for the 2006 cup. Don’t expect Joey Crack or the Swiss to stay neutral because they are willing to bring it if provoked. And how funny is it that Switzerland face G-Unit (France) in their first game on June 13th?

Iran = DJ Khaled
Forgive me for playing into stereotypes, but work with me. Both are from the Middle-East and have had much success in their neck of the woods; Khaled has the highest-rated nightly radio show in Miami and Iran has won the Asian Cup three times. If Khaled’s Listennn becomes the #1 record and Iran becomes the first team from the AFC to win the World Cup - both highly unlikely, but possible - they’d smash down major doors for their people.

Japan = Jin
Jin was one of the premiere MC’s in Miami and eventually on the national battle circuit, but his ethnicity made him a marked man. Japan has a similar status because of historical reasons, but the Daihyo winning three of the last four Asian Cups has ruffled some feathers too. When it comes to the big stage, Japan hasn’t made the impact that they should have, but they have done enough to make their core supporters and a few outsiders believe in them.

Sweden = Memphis Bleek
Always around, but hardly ever makes an impact. Despite appearing in the Cup finals six times between 1970 and 2002, Sweden has lost in the first or second round five times. Both Memph and the Swedes have frequently been grouped with peers that outperform them. Surrounding yourself with talent should lead to improvement, but in both cases, it has only led to a history of not measuring up. Sweden’s shocking loss to Senegal in 2002 forced the team to watch the new guys fly into the limelight, just like Memph had to do when Kanye West became famous. But don’t worry, Bleek; you’re still one hit away.

Czech Republic = Def Jam Records
Both the Czech Republic and Def Jam have seen more than their share of reshuffling and failed relationships. The Czechs competed as part of three different nations until politics split Czechoslovakia in 1993, but their first two offerings during the 1998 and 2002 qualification campaigns bricked (*cough Young Gunz and Memphis Bleek*). Just when the organization seemed in trouble, a legend returned to save the day. Paul Nedved took off his jeans and chancletas to come out of international retirement in 2005 and led the Czechs to their first ever World Cup finals. It created tremendous excitement for the whole team, just like Jay-Z’s constant guest appearances did until people heard the atrocious Rick Ross’s “Hustlin’” remix.

Ukraine = Mr. Cheeks
Ukraine, a former member of the USSR, has a short history as a team. The USSR was moderately successful in the 60’s and 70’s, but most of the star players came from the Ukraine. Despite being at the forefront, individual success has been elusive for both Mr. Cheeks and the Ukraine. Cheeks’ two attempts at stardom as a solo artist were both duds, and the Ukraine never qualified for any major tournament until now. Neither has matched the success had when part of a larger organization, but with Andriy Shevchenko leading the charge, the Ukraine might actually do something great once the lights and cameras are on.

Mexico = Lil’ Rob
Mexico has won the Gold Cup four times and qualified for the World Cup finals more than any other team in the region, while Lil’ Rob has found similar success in the Chicano rap scene. He has independently sold more than 100,000 copies of several releases. But outside of his zone, nobody really pays much attention to Lil’ Rob. He may have success within the Chicano rap world, but you aren’t going to see him on TV unless your cable plan includes Mun2. Mexico has kept a tight grip on CONCACAF, but no team in UEFA or CONMEBOL fears them, especially considering that El Tri have fallen in the second round three finals in a row.

Everyone else except Argentina, Croatia and South Korea = D4L and Dem Franchize Boys
They’ve made it to the big show and nobody seems to care but them and their core supporters. Sorry, guys, but this list includes Angola, Costa Rica, Ecuador, Ivory Coast, Paraguay, Saudi Arabia, Serbia & Montenegro, Togo, and Tunisia.

Mayday! Mayday! We're going up!

2006-05-19T10:39:00.000-04:00

Watch Mayday! f/ Cee-Lo "Groundhog Day"

Miami is on the come up. With the launch of 305 Magazine coming soon and so many artists coming out with major albums this year (Smitty, Pit, Ross, Khaled), I'm expecting big things for my city in the near future. But as Non-Phixion says, there is no future because the future is now.

One of my favorite groups - both locally and nationally - named Mayday! recently created the most popular video on YouTube. The duo of Plex and Bernbiz hit 2,000,000 views in a matter of hours, which I couldn't believe until I read it in the New York Times. Plex and Bern went from being a well-respected local group to being overnight celebrities on one of the biggest sites in the world. Not to mention that they're in the Arts section of one of the world's most-respected newspapers. That's not supposed to happen to Miami artists.

I've been a vocal supporter of them ever since I downloaded their song "Quicksand" and have been pleased with everything they've put out since. I recommend that you visit Mayday!'s Official Site and Their MySpace to see what the fuss is about.

Video...Suckers Never Played Me

2006-05-17T16:08:00.000-04:00

Status Ain’t Hood sparked debate in Hip-Hop's blogosphere with his list of the greatest videos of all time. But nobody should be surprised. Whenever you attempt to rank anything as subjective as music, you’re bound to upset someone who believes their favorite song or artists was slighted. So, I decided to compose the Kam’s Favorite 18 Videos List. This is not a ranking of the greatest hip-hop videos ever; it is simply a compilation of my personal favorites with links, explanations, and a total disregard for your opinion.

18. Geto Boys - My Mind’s Playin’ Tricks on Me :: It’s simple, but it works. It makes you feel the paranoia, frustration, and borderline schizophrenic episodes of each Geto Boy. Not to mention that Bushwick Bill’s Street Fighter-style super punch is one of the greatest moments to hit the small screen.

17. Wu-Tang - Triumph :: Deck’s verse is one of the greatest opening rhymes ever and this video didn’t live up to that, but I love it anyway. The Killa Bees swarm seemed a little cheesy at first, but it grew on me.

16. Busta Rhymes - Woo Ha! (Got You All In Check) :: There was a time when being called over-the-top was a good thing, and nothing illustrates that point better than “Woo-Ha!” I have to give Busta his just due because no other MC back then had the energy to pull this off.

15. Nas - If I Ruled the World :: There isn’t much in this video that I don’t like except for the fake gambino scene. “The Message” as an intro - great; Nas and a pre-Marleyed Lauryn singing - great; the Queensbridge scenes - great. This was the last time I saw Esco, Mobb, and Mega in the same place at the same time.

14. Notorious B.I.G. - Sky’s The Limit :: The worst types of videos usually involve gimmicks and a dead MC. This has both but is surprisingly good. Using kids to represent Big, Puff, Kim, Faith, and 112 was a great idea. Extra points go to the director for having Kid Big watch Kid Busta Rhymes on TV. Great attention to detail.

13. Xzibit - What U See Is What U Get :: Before he helped make awful car modifications for nerdy Californians, Xzibit made one of my favorite clips ever. X had continuous motion despite explosions, police stings, chaos and Flava Flav’s terrifying grill.

12. 2 Live Crew - Pop That Coochie :: Tipper Gore had a point when she started the Parental Music Resource Center. This video corrupted my young mind and I loved every minute of it. All 2 Live Crew videos are essentially the same, but this always stood out more than the rest.

11. Redman - Time 4 Sum Aksion :: The year was 1992 and a young Kam rushed to his aunt’s house in East Orange, NJ expecting to see afternoon cartoons. Instead, he saw this tribute to dementia that warped a once promising mind.

10. Busta Rhymes - Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Can See :: Coming to America is one of my all-time favorite movies, so I just had to include this video. The African dancers, night vision colors and fish-eyed lens gave a larger-than-life feel to aide Busta’s already animated character.

09. Kanye West - Through the Wire :: Don’t front – ‘Ye had one of the greatest introductions in history. I’ve never seen any artist debut with a video as creative, especially considering the “hoes + cars + jewelry + entire neighborhood behind the rapper = rap video” formula dominant right now.

08. Mobb Deep - Quiet Storm :: Oh, how the mighty have fallen. There was a time when the M-O-B-B could just show up and make something classic. "Quiet Storm" is full of little things (rain, pen flicks symbolizing gunshots, P under the desk, explosions) combining to form one great piece of work. It's almost good enough to make me forgive Blood Money.

07. Public Enemy - Fight the Power :: 1989 - the number, fuck another summer. I was too young to see this video when it first aired, but that only reflects its greatness. A young buck could see this years later and still marvel at their movement. Reading CSWS and learning about the social climate when this was filmed made my admiration even stronger. With all due respect to the Dips, this is powerful music.

06. Common - I Used to Love H.E.R. :: If I even need to explain to you why I like this, close the browser and never return to this site. Whenever people constantly tell me how much Hip-Hop sucks or how it's dead, I watch this.

05. Black Star - Respiration :: Black and white videos don’t rate too highly with me, but I couldn’t imagine this classic use of personification any other way. The city “breathing” with the smoke and the tunnel representing life and death were both great touches.

04. Ghostface Killah - All That I Got Is You :: ATIGIY is arguably the most-touching Hip-Hop song ever written, and the video almost reaches a similar height. It follows the “act out the words” format a bit, but Ghost’s material is so profound, how could it not? Two at the foot, two at the head.

03. N.W.A. - Straight Outta Compton :: Whoa! I never knew what Compton was until I saw this and it was one heck of an introduction. I once read someone refer to this as “rap nihilism at its highest peak” and that’s a very accurate description.

02. Pharcyde - Drop :: Pharcyde pulled a Memento before there was one and made a backward-going-forward video. From start to finish, this grabs the viewer and leaves you stuck watching. What I wouldn’t give for rappers to start being creative again.

01. Nas - One Mic :: Chris Robinson, don’t let the negativity regarding ATL get you down. Just tell all critics, “I directed ‘One Mic,’ so your words are meaningless.” The lights following the volume level of the beat and people mouthing the third verse are a great touch. This video gets progressively better with each verse (just like the song) and is truly flawless.

Honorable Mention: I couldn’t decide on #19 or #20, so here are a few songs that were close to making the main show.
----------------------------
♦ 2Pac - I Ain’t Mad At Cha :: Prophetic irony or a deliberate set-up, you can’t deny that this was a great video.
♦ Nelly - Tip Drill (Uncensored) :: If you argue that hip-hop is misogynistic, this would serve as a great thesis.
♦ Scarface - My Block :: Another dope continuous motion video.
♦ Notorious B.I.G. - One More Chance (Remix) :: Big got a cameo from every entertainer who wasn’t in jail at the time.
♦ Naughty By Nature - Hip-Hop Hooray :: I was living in Jersey at the time and this was big.

Mama Said Knock It Off

2006-05-14T10:19:00.002-04:00

My mother hates hip-hop. Can you imagine that? The two women I love the most can’t get along. Whether it’s the raunchy and degrading 2 Live Crew or the less-explicit Common, mama cannot stand my hip-hop collection.

Hip-hop was the only thing I cared about besides Thundercats and soccer when I was a child, but Mrs. K played Reagan and blocked the evil music from entering our hemisphere. My brother and I started our own Cold War and listened to it anyway, but me being the baby meant I had to be a bit more careful than him.

I would put my headphones on and hide-out in my room while 99 Jamz played the music our mother couldn’t stand. The Box was my favorite TV channel, but I always dove for the remote when I thought my mother was approaching my room. What would she have thought if she saw her eight-year-old son rapping along to, “And that’s realer than ‘Real Deal’ Holyfield / So now you hookers and hoes know how I feel”?

Things didn’t change much as I got older. Whenever I loaded It Was Written into my CD player, Mrs. K was complaining before “The Message” finished. “Tun off dat damn booga-booga music!” she’d scream from the kitchen. Man, I’m 22 years-old and still can’t play hip-hop in her presence without her pleading for me to silence the noise.

Despite her disliking of hip-hop, Mom has always been supportive of me becoming involved in it. She slid me $20 for studio time when I was just a youngbuck trying to create music. She withheld her objections to her teenage son staying out all night at shows even though she feared me getting in trouble. And when most of my friends were being pressured by their parents to pursue business or medicine, she supported me when I said I wanted to become a music journalist.

My mother cared about me enough to eventually let me love something she never understood. There were times when she was the stereotypical Jamaican with two jobs and a side-hustle, doing whatever it took to be a good provider. So in honor of Mother’s Day, I am going to sacrifice for the woman who has done so for the past 22 years. I am going to do something I haven’t done since 1991: go the entire day without listening to hip-hop. Mrs. K deserves to finally have at least one day without any booga booga music.

Then again, do you think she’d mind if I made an exception for 2Pac’s “Dear Mama”?

White Stars: The New Minstrel Show

2006-05-12T19:22:00.000-04:00

Little Brother better watch out because they have some serious competition. A new crew is out to have its name associated with the Minstrel Show. No, not D4L or Dem Franchize Boyz. I’m talking about a group much more detrimental to society: white celebrities.

That’s right, black people. Our famous Caucasian friends are determined to out-sambo us. Ellen, Tom Cruise, and Brooke Hogan are just a few stars doing their damnedest to create a modern-day minstrel show.

Famous white people are throwing up the Roc, hopping on the grill craze, and playing up to the “whitey can’t dance” stereotype as soon as the cameras turn on. Tom Cruise, I see you, playa! Dancing like you were having a seizure on 106th & Park was all part of your plan, huh? Made yourself look foolish so the young Negroes would love you and go see your movie. Genius!

In the 19th century, blacks were criticized for shucking-and-jiving at minstrel shows. They performed grossly-exaggerated stereotypes of blacks for the sake of entertainment (Think of them as the Comic View of their day). A little shoe polish on the face sprinkled in with some Chicken George-ing made white audience members giggle and say, “Those silly lil’ nigras.”

Whites eventually took over the genre, just like they did with jazz and Halle Berry, and minstrelsy soared in popularity. Ellen and Company have returned to one-up blacks once again, reclaiming their spot as the number one sambo. Now we’re the ones who giggle and say, “Those silly lil’ crackas.”

But the neo-sambo laughs too; all the way to the bank. Tom got plenty of press because of his dance-floor wizardry and m:i:III made $47.7 million its opening weekend. He may be crazy, but he ain’t a fool.

Sorry, Phonte and Pooh; you’ve been outmatched.