White Stars: The New Minstrel Show

Little Brother better watch out because they have some serious competition. A new crew is out to have its name associated with the Minstrel Show. No, not D4L or Dem Franchize Boyz. I’m talking about a group much more detrimental to society: white celebrities.

That’s right, black people. Our famous Caucasian friends are determined to out-sambo us. Ellen, Tom Cruise, and Brooke Hogan are just a few stars doing their damnedest to create a modern-day minstrel show.

Famous white people are throwing up the Roc, hopping on the grill craze, and playing up to the “whitey can’t dance” stereotype as soon as the cameras turn on. Tom Cruise, I see you, playa! Dancing like you were having a seizure on 106th & Park was all part of your plan, huh? Made yourself look foolish so the young Negroes would love you and go see your movie. Genius!

In the 19th century, blacks were criticized for shucking-and-jiving at minstrel shows. They performed grossly-exaggerated stereotypes of blacks for the sake of entertainment (Think of them as the Comic View of their day). A little shoe polish on the face sprinkled in with some Chicken George-ing made white audience members giggle and say, “Those silly lil’ nigras.”

Whites eventually took over the genre, just like they did with jazz and Halle Berry, and minstrelsy soared in popularity. Ellen and Company have returned to one-up blacks once again, reclaiming their spot as the number one sambo. Now we’re the ones who giggle and say, “Those silly lil’ crackas.”

But the neo-sambo laughs too; all the way to the bank. Tom got plenty of press because of his dance-floor wizardry and m:i:III made $47.7 million its opening weekend. He may be crazy, but he ain’t a fool.

Sorry, Phonte and Pooh; you’ve been outmatched.